Day 177 God's Game

Why are television shows like American Idol and other "reality" game shows and movies like The Hunger Games, captivating? Maybe it's because what we see on the screen is a fascinating and disturbing mirror of our own souls.... Maybe we are collectively caught inside (and addicted to?) a game that allows only one winner.

We are desperate for a faith that unplugs us from the need to succeed and frees us to lose, especially in North America where winning is everything and treated as the highest virtue. Mercifully, Jesus models another way. Jesus shows us that it is as the loser that God comes to us, blesses us, forgives us, and offers the hand of peace. We are loved by a loser! It is good news that has been "hidden since the foundations of the world" (Matt. 13:35), and revealed fully in Jesus. This is the Gospel.

"Jesus the loser" is not some kind of mental jujitsu in which Jesus feigns being the loser only to flip the script at the end and rise triumphantly in the resurrection as the winner and finally declare, "Got ya! I beat you at your own game. I win, you lose!" Jesus suffered real and painful loss eternally. He comes to us bearing the marks of this loss in his hands and side to keep us from denying the lethal games we play. 

And yet, the Ultimate Loser who has suffered great loss is not defined by this loss. He may have lost our game, but that's because he never really played our game: It is as if he were playing another game all along and frees us to do the same!

"...when he marked out the foundations of the earth,

                        then I was beside him, like a master worker;

            and I was daily his delight,

                        rejoicing/laughing before him always,

            playing in his inhabited world

                        and delighting in the human race (Prov. 8:30-31)."

Jesus eagerly extends an invitation to play an older and happier game--one that he has been playing from the start. He extends the invitation for us to play with him without the slightest hint of resentment or hesitation, even to those of us who have played so poorly and so violently for so long.  

This is impossible for us to grasp. And that is why Scripture and the church rightly insist that it is a gift that is given - to be received not grasped. We call the gift faith.

Lent opens us up to this gift. It is the invitation to recognize Jesus among those who have been labeled the least, last, and lost and to join him as he plays a different game in their presence. There is nothing wrong with winning in this world--but when we occupy the space of the loser we can begin God's perspective, and that the world's games can be fearful, blame-shifting, and scapegoating that ends in killing God and our neighbor, even ourselves. In fact, maybe we are not playing the game at all: maybe it is playing us. 

In God's playground, 

Christ plays in ten thousand places,

Lovely in limbs, and lovely in eyes not his

To the Father through the features of men's faces. 

- Gerard Manley Hopkins

Day 176 Choices

This makes me chuckle, so I thought I'd share it with you. Being told from the guy's perspective makes it even more funny. The point is: make time first for the things that matter most.

“I have the right to do anything,” you say—but not everything is beneficial. 1 Corinthians 6:12a

For about the first month of my marriage, I made the same mistake every night. I was coming home late for dinner.

My wife, Cathy, was (and still is) very patient. During our first weeks of marriage, she would call me in the afternoon and ask about my arrival time and dinner desires. She was always cheerful and flexible and didn’t mandate a time to be home. I was always given the chance to pick the time. Typically, I’d say something like, “I’ll be home at 6, so why don’t we eat at 6:30?”

Things would have gone really well had I arrived home at 6 p.m. like I said I would. Instead, as I was leaving the church office I’d get a phone call from a student who wanted me to drop by his house and see his new drum set. “What a great ministry opportunity!” I’d think to myself, “And it’s on the way home.” Or, as I was preparing to leave the office, a parent would stop by and ask if I had “just a minute.”

One night while we were having dinner, I politely asked, “Do you mind if I heat this up in the microwave for a minute?” Little did I know that a simple question could lead to tears, screaming, silverware flying, words I hadn’t heard her say before (to this day I still believe it may have been tongues), and a quick exit from the table. I thought, “What was that all about?”

When I pulled the fork from my neck, it became clear to me that it wasn’t about my question; it was about my nightly decisions to make everything and everyone else more important than my bride. I wish I wasn’t so stupid then, but I’m thankful that I learned at an early age that some things (work add-ons) just aren’t as important as other things (my marriage).

So while busyness in the pursuit of doing good things is often worn as a badge of honor, unfortunately, behind that badge we typically find a damaged spiritual life, a damaged family life, and a damaged career. Just because you’re busy doesn’t mean you’re exempt from the consequences that typically follow an unrelenting lifestyle of busyness.

God has given you the privilege to conduct your own life. You have the freedom to make choices that can lead to God’s blessing and favor, as well as painful consequences. Today, take a look inside to make sure your choices align with your priorities. Don’t just prioritize your schedule. Choose and schedule those things that matter most.

Day 175 Real Freedom

The really important kind of freedom involves attention and awareness and discipline, and being able truly to care about other people and to sacrifice for them in myriad petty, unsexy ways every day. That is real freedom. That is being educated, and understanding how to think. The alternative is unconsciousness, the default setting, the rat race, the constant gnawing sense of having had, and lost, some infinite thing. (David Foster Wallace, This is Water)

Day 174 Dare to Dream!

I can do everything through him who gives me strength. Philippians 4:13

What dream is God placing in your heart? The world needs people like you to give it everything you can!

Theodore Roosevelt said, "It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbled or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena; whose face is marred by dust and sweat and blood; who strives valiantly; who errs, and comes short again and again, because there is no effort without error and shortcoming; who does actually try to do the deed; who knows the great enthusiasm, the great devotion, and spends himself in a worthy cause; who, at the worst, if he fails, at least fails while daring greatly."

Our Lord plants a dream in everyone's heart. Most often the dreams are mighty, life-changing dreams with long-term positive results. Take your dream, then take the words of Paul, "I can do everything through him who gives me strength," and make a difference!

Here is your homework from mom for today:
1. Write Philippians 4:13 on an index card and read it any time your dreams are being challenged.
2. What dream has God planted in your heart? What decisions in your life do you need to make in order to bring that dream to reality?

Dare to dream, sweetheart! <3

Day 173 Discerning God's Presence

The gospels are filled with examples of God's presence. Remember the story of Jesus in the synagogue of Nazareth? There he read from Isaiah:

   The Spirit of the Lord is on me,
   for he has anointed me
   to bring good news to the afflicted.
   He has sent me to proclaim liberty to
   captives, sight to the blind,
   to let the oppressed go free,
   to proclaim a year of favor from the Lord. (Luke 4:18-19)
 
After reading these words Jesus said, "This text is being fulfilled today even while you are listening." 

Suddenly, it became clear that the afflicted, the captives, the blind, and the oppressed are not people somewhere outside of the synagogue who someday will be liberated: they are the people who are listening. 

And it is in the listening that God becomes present and heals.  

The Word of God isn't a word to apply in our daily lives at some later date--it is a word to heal us through and in our listening here and now.

How does God come to me as I listen to the word? Where do I discern the healing hand of God touching me through the word? How are my sadness, my grief, and my mourning being transformed at this very moment? Do I sense the fire of God's love purifying my heart and giving me new life? 

These questions lead us to the sacrament of the word, the sacred place of God's real presence now.

Day 172 Reduction...and not in a good way

The key pathology of our time, which seduces us all, is the reduction of imagination so that we are too numbed, satiated, and co-opted to do serious imaginative work.

It could be, as is so often the case, that the only ones left who can imagine are the ones at the margin.

They are waiting to be heard, but they have a hard time finding a place and a way for their voices.

Walter Brueggemann (Interpretation and Obedience)

Day 170 The Shepherd

The Lord is my shepherd, I shall not be in want. He makes me lie down in green pastures, he leads me beside quiet waters, he restores my soul. He guides me in paths of righteousness for his name's sake. Psalm 23:1-3

This is a psalm of comfort and peace, a reminder that God is with you at all times, even in your darkest hour. David knew how lost a sheep was without its shepherd. The shepherd took care of every need. The shepherd led his sheep to water and food, and provided time to rest and recoup. This Psalm focuses on the shepherd who protects and provides for his sheep. They follow the one who wants to give them extravagant blessings, unfailing love, and goodness.

God offers us His hand, guiding us in the here and now, and ultimately to eternity with Him. He wants us to have eternal life, eternal blessings, and eternal goodness. He wants us to choose to follow Him daily. He wants us to choose to walk through this life walking near to Him and holding onto His promises. Hold on. Love, Mom

Day 169 Lenten Prayer

 Lighter of lights – illumine us
Fire of fires – thaw us
Power of powers – strengthen us
Lover of lovers – warm us
Teller of tales – encourage us
Destroyer of darkness – save us
Touchstone of truth – examine us
Summoner of stars – amaze us
Wellspring of wisdom – weather us
Water of life – refresh us
Dancer of days – delight in us
Breath of the universe – bless us

Day 168 Dancing

As long as you're dancing, you can
     break the rules.
Sometimes breaking the rules is just
     extending the rules.

Sometimes there are no rules.

"Three Things to Remember"

A Thousand Mornings

Mary Oliver

Day 167 Beloved

God's words to Jesus at his baptism are also his words to you. Carry them with you each day: "You are my Beloved, in whom I am delighted." This is the gift that will nourish you. Let the words echo in your soul. It is the truth that will connect you most surely to God and provide the touchstone for discernment amid other voices that will accuse and test you from day to day.

Day 166 Live Gently and Attentively during Lent

Lent is an important time of the year to nurture our inner life. 

It is the time during which we not only prepare ourselves to celebrate the mystery of the death and resurrection of Jesus, but also the death and resurrection that constantly takes place within us. 

Life is a continuing process of the death of the old and the familiar, and being reborn again into a new hope, a new trust, and a new love. The death and resurrection of Jesus is not just an historical event that took place a long time ago, but an inner event that takes place in our heart when we are willing to be attentive to it....

Lent offers a beautiful opportunity to discover the mystery of Christ within us. It is a gentle but also demanding time. It is a time of solitude but also community, it is a time of listening to the voice within, but also a time of paying attention to other people's needs. It is a time to continuously make the passage to new inner life as well as to life with those around us.

When we live Lent attentively and gently, then Easter can truly be a celebration during which the full proclamation of the risen Christ will reverberate into the deepest place of our being.

Day 165 A Sense of Place

Place is space that has historical meanings, where some things have happened that are now remembered and that provide continuity and identity across generations.

Place is space in which important words have been spoken that have established identity, defined vocation, and envisioned destiny. Place is space in which promises have been made and demands have been issued.

Place is indeed a protest against the unpromising pursuit of space. It is a declaration that our humanness cannot be found in escape, detachment, absence of commitment, and undefined freedom.

Day 163 Happy 'Tines!

How about we celebrate Valentine’s Day this year, not with red hearts and sappy poetry but with spiritual hearts committed to discovering what real love looks like, love that is founded on and nurtured by an understanding of God’s design for our physical, emotional, and spiritual love lives?

Let’s celebrate the kind of open-hearted, joy-infused, self-donating love that Christ models for us.

Let’s dare to speak the truth in love, to submit to our Lord, to be vulnerable with each other, to respect and protect and care for each other in daring ways.

That beats a box of chocolate and roses any day. (But that's good too! :)

Day 162 Ash Wednesday

 A Prayer at the Beginning of Lent

The season of Lent begins today. It is a time to be with you, Lord, in a special way, a time to pray, to fast, and so to follow you on your way to Jerusalem, to Golgotha, and to the final victory over death.

I am still so divided. I truly want to follow you, but I also want to follow my own desires and lend an ear to the distractions of this world. Help me to become deaf to these voices and more attentive to your voice, which calls me to choose the road to life.

The choice for your way has to be made every moment of my life.  I have to choose thoughts that are your thoughts, words that are your words, and actions that are your actions. There are not times or places without choices. And I know how deeply I resist choosing you.

Please, Lord, be with me at every moment and in every place. Give me the strength and the courage to live this season faithfully, so that, when Easter comes, I will be able to taste with joy the new life that you have prepared for me.

Amen.

Day 161 The Discipline of Not Giving up Something for Lent

I haven't given up anything for Lent for a long time. Usually the most common sacrifices (chocolate, meat) seem kind of trivial. I'm also not in favor of a monotonously gloomy Lent followed by a bunny-and-ham-filled Easter (which is supposed to be a whole 40 days of its own, remember).

For me at least, the habit could actually distract me from meditating on the meaning of Lent more than it focuses me on it, although I like the traditions of Ash Wednesday and making the sign of the cross.

When I think about not giving up something for Lent, I can see its downside: I go on living life as normally as any other time of year and some days I forget it's Lent. Then the word "sacrifice" seems more like a metaphor than spiritual reality.

On the other hand, I still worry that giving up something, at least one of the usual suspects, would still feel gimmicky and even self-aggrandizing, a lame and self-centered attempt to "feel more spiritual." I'd also want to be more clear about the outcome and end of a Lenten experiment - not just a relieved re-indulgence in whatever vice I put on pause....like maybe sweets...or bread...or CHEESE!

"What Jesus taught us is that as his disciples we must take up our own cross and lose our own lives for the sake of others (Matt 16:24). In this self-giving, we conform ourselves more perfectly to Christ in whom we were baptized; in this self-giving, God raises us to new life. Thus, in the very dying is the rising. In the dying we affirm our baptismal commitment; in the rising we enjoy the blessings of faithful followers of Jesus the Christ." (Pascal Mystery)

Whatever we do - during Lent or after Lent, individually or in community, trivial or ambitious - that's the purpose it must serve:
                                    emptying ourselves to make room for Christ's fullness.

Day 160 Where your Heart Is

What is "worship" anyway. We all have our preferences when it comes to worship, but a truth is that worship is never about the outer form or the style of music.... Worship is about the heart of the worshipper.

Whenever our hearts are more concerned about what is on the outside than the whole-hearted devotion on the inside, we need a revival. Real worship, whatever else it might be, is genuine, heartfelt, and surrendered on the part of the worshiper...other than that, I don't think there aren't a whole lot of "rules"...at least not from God!

One idea that the Bible says is essential to genuine worship shows up in the story of Abraham who,  when he stood at the foot of Mount Moriah, had waited for 25 years for his son Isaac, raised him for another 13 years, and now he’d traveled three days to a mountain’s name whose name means, “God will see,” to offer him, at God’s request, as a sacrifice. Abraham's faith was about to get very costly.

Abraham said unto his young men, "Stay here with the animals. The boy and I will go a way and worship, and come again to you." (Gen 22:5) Abraham’s worship included:

• Obeying God, without hesitation.
• Going with the full intent of sacrificing his son.
• A faith and relationship with God that was so deep, he knew that Isaac was the son that God had promised.
• Intending to kill his son, not to please God, but to obey him
• Knowing that he would also return with his son, because God is faithful to keep his promises.

Genuine worship, praise, and prayer that changes our hearts and pleases God includes personal cost (your first fruits, or tithe).

Abraham learned the lesson by obeying God and trusting him with the results. David also said that he wouldn’t offer a sacrifice that didn’t come at personal cost to himself, and he learned these hard lessons the same way – by what he did.

"And when Araunah looked down, he saw the king and his servants coming on toward him. And Araunah went out and paid homage to the king with his face to the ground. And Araunah said, “Why has my lord the king come to his servant?” David said, “To buy the threshing floor from you, in order to build an altar to the Lord, that the plague may be averted from the people.” Then Araunah said to David, “Let my lord the king take and offer up what seems good to him. Here are the oxen for the burnt offering and the threshing sledges and the yokes of the oxen for the wood. All this, O king, Araunah gives to the king.” And Araunah said to the king, “May the Lord your God accept you.” But the king said to Araunah, “No, but I will buy it from you for a price. I will not offer burnt offerings to the Lord my God that cost me nothing.” So David bought the threshing floor and the oxen for fifty shekels of silver." (2 Sam. 24:20-24)

Genuine praise, worship and prayer aren’t about how we feel. These essential pieces of a Christ-centered life aren’t about the environment around us or the music we listen to. Genuine worship flows from a heart that’s surrendered to God, loves Him, and follows wherever He leads. Where ever you are, what ever you are doing, if this is the attitude of your heart, you are a true worshiper of God.

Day 159 Jump In

If you want to get warm you must stand near the fire: if you want to be wet you must get into the water. If you want joy, power, peace, eternal life, you must get close to, or even into, the thing that has them. They are not a sort of prize which God could, if He chose, just hand out to anyone." CS Lewis

Day 158 Living Deeply

Already in your first 25 years, you have moved more than I have in my life! You've had travel, experiences, and accumulated miles and places and acquaintances that I have not. :)

What does it mean to live deeply in a place, to move about in it as opposed to passing through it? Do you feel the pull of history and place in a hundred places around the globe, and know that you could have lived a happy life in any one of them?

As you change your location, are you content to immerse yourself in the place where you are? Maybe to truly live in a place, you must give your life to that place for a time. It is a dynamic commitment, but it is also a manifestation of stillness. A generous dollop of stillness is good, especially in the midst of moving.

Day 156 The Good Earth

"O house of Israel, can I not do with you as the potter does?" declares the Lord. "Like clay in the hand of the potter, so are you in my hand, O house of Israel." Jeremiah 18:6

We all wonder, “What’s happening to me?” during trying, painful experiences of our lives. But maybe it's at that very moment that the shaping of the Potter is occurring in ways you would never understand or appreciate without those difficult times.

Pottery can only be created while the clay is moldable: in the hands of a craftsman it goes from being earth to a thing of beauty. The beauty of the final creation is what the Potter has in mind as He shapes and molds.

God’s molding and shaping us is an ongoing process. Don’t get too wrapped up in how it will take place in the future because there is enough shaping going on in your life today!

The future of what God has in store for your life will be beautiful as you stay pliable in His loving hands. The hurt that accompanies God’s shaping process is for your good. Today, may your heart stay soft and open to The Potter’s work despite the difficult circumstances you are sometimes in this year. <3 Mom

Day 155 It might even be biblical....

We should acknowledge that contemporary trends like globalization, corporate downsizing/ restructuring, and movable capital have made all of us much less secure in our economic being....

We need to see that the purveyors of this paradigm do not have our well-being at heart, but instead have everything to gain (financially) by keeping us unhappy, dissatisfied, and disengaged consumers.

As we resist the ways of corporate and global ambition, we may yet come to see the grace and joy that accompany genuine efforts to make of our living places an enduring and convivial home.

We will discover that our lives are everywhere maintained and benefited by the countless contributions of traditions, communities, habitats, and other organisms, and that we in turn have the potential to similarly benefit others. (The Essential Agrarian)

Day 154 Ask and Imagine

I tell you the truth, anyone who has faith in me will do what I have been doing. He will do even greater things than these, because I am going to the Father. John 14:12

 I don’t know about you, but this verse bugs me.

When I read it, I keep coming back to the same question. Is He really saying what it looks like He's saying? Are we really supposed to do “greater things” than Jesus did while He was on earth? It just seems impossible. I mean, here is a person who is God, who healed all kinds of sickness and ailments, cast out demons, even raised people from the dead, yet He is making this most amazing statement.

“They will do even greater things than these...” Is He serious? Yes.

Imagine what was going through the disciples’ minds. “Us? Even greater things than we’ve seen You do? Are you serious, Jesus?” Yes, He is.

In our rush to understand the latter part of this teaching, we often forget the first part. “...anyone who has faith in me will do what I have been doing...”

Jesus makes an enormous assumption: those who are His followers should be doing the things that He is doing. Apparently, in Jesus’ mind, it is impossible to call yourself a follower and not have your life look like the person you are following. If you are His follower, then your life will look like His. If you are His follower, you will listen to, absorb, and re-orient your life around His teachings and way of life.

What about the “greater things?” How is that even possible?

What Jesus says in John 14:12 is not that the disciples would do something better or more meaningful than Jesus did. He was inviting them to be involved in something “greater,” more expansive. Through His death and resurrection, Jesus was opening the door wide for the kingdom of God to invade earth. The kingdom was breaking into their midst, and Jesus was inviting people to get involved in taking on this "kingdom" kind of life and spreading it like an aroma.

Jesus came proclaiming that a kingdom is here, a new kingdom, a different kind of kingdom. The kingdom He was proclaiming was foundationally different than any other kingdom. Rather than being a kingdom built with power and oppression, His is built upon love and grace, on generosity, compassion, and peace.

This is the kingdom of God.

Being involved in the expansion of this kind of kingdom is to be involved in something “greater.” The disciples, and we, were being invited to be a part of a movement that started with Jesus.

In your life, do you have a sense that you are a part of something “greater?" We are to live the way of Jesus. Live the way of this new kingdom, and be involved in something “greater” than we can "ask or imagine."

Day 153 Choose Joy

Busyness. It's an American epidemic.

People leave home at 7:30 a.m. and don't get back there until 11:00 p.m. And, while folks who are as busy as this may enjoy everything they're doing, this kind of schedule can leave us feeling like our days are little more than checking tasks off long lists scribbled on notebook paper.

But it doesn't have to be that way. There is a simple truth that can transform the way you approach your day and that is learning to “choose joy.” When your having an off day, feeling meh, or overwhelmed by everything that has to be done, remind yourself that being joyful is a choice.

We generally think of the fruits of the Spirit in terms of development. Through the work of the Holy Spirit, they are developed within us. Although it’s true that the Holy Spirit develops these disciplines in us, we forget that we are active participants in the developing. We can choose to respond to situations with love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, gentleness, and self-control.

By being intentional about practicing the fruits of the Spirit and choosing joy, we can transform our presence in our workplace, whatever our position. We can be counter-cultural, refusing to buy into the philosophy of “working for the weekend” and recognizing that both work and the posture of our heart toward it matter.

So, how can we choose joy as a posture toward work? Here are a few places to start.

Frame your day with prayer and Scripture. Leave some flex time in your morning schedule. Get up twenty to thirty minutes earlier, drink a cup of coffee in bed, and spend time with God. :) It makes a huge difference in how you approach your day.

Make your office or cubicle a place of hope. I have a friend who has a small card in one of her desk drawers that says, “This is a place of hope.” What a lovely reminder that our offices are not just the space where we answer e-mails and do projects. (Proverbs 10:28: “The hope of the righteous brings joy.”)

Interrupt your day with prayer and Scripture. One person I know set up his e-mail to send himself one random prayer request during his lunch hour every day. Another friend reads the daily lectionary during lunch. Create space in your day to pause and spend time with God.

Plan peace. Whether this means being kind to a co-worker who is just a jerk or giving a polite response to a rude student, plan peace in your workplace. (Proverbs 10:20: “Those who plan peace have joy.”)

Rest well. Be intentional about resting one day on the weekend. (Sunday might be good. ;) It will change how you work.

“Whatever you do, work heartily, as for the Lord and not for men” and in the joy that comes from working this way.

Day 152 Building your Circle of Truth and Peace

"Be careful of who and what you allow in your personal circle, because not everyone deserves your presence. Some people you must love from afar, all the way from afar. Its like that sometimes. Don't be mad at them, just pray for them and love them from afar. Because what you allow in your circle, can mess up your circle." Ledisi

 

Day 151 When We Point A Finger...

No, not THAT finger. How we respond to other people's anger says something about us.

One thing for sure, someone sometime is going to be angry with us. It happens: we get attacked. Just about daily. That's just life. And we're going to get hurt....bumps, bruises, cuts, and the occasional life-altering amputation. (Hopefully that last one isn't frequent.)

There are a lot of reasons why people hurt each other. Sometimes the people who hurt us are misdirected and other times their intentions are completely intentional. Sometimes they're impulsive or kind of shot-gun. Other times they're completely malicious, being viciously planned and savagely implemented. Sometimes people act on a misunderstanding of an event or circumstance...these can be tragic mistakes and gross misfires. Sometimes the intent is simply to hurt us and whatever hurt the person in the first place is irrelevant. When shit happens, we naturally respond.

But what does our response to anger say about us?

Well, the first thing to do when someone is angry is to pause....this is hard. Don't just respond automatically even though that's the easy thing to do. Take a sec, and ask yourself what the response your about to give an angry person says about you: Ask the hard questions. Do the tough analysis. Face yourself without the nip and tuck of justification, and without the Botox of rationalization. You will be a better person who leaves behind a better world even when that world attacks you. 

Our responses are the fingerprint of our heart and the DNA of our conscience. If we peer into the mirrored reflection of our response, we see ourselves looking back. Fulke Greville wrote that "No man was ever so much deceived by another as by himself." That should create a whole lot of caution within a whole lot of us. 

There's a tendency in human behavior to respond without asking why we're responding the way that we are. Maybe it's something primitive, something that has to do with the whole concept of fight verses flight. When it comes to survival, we don't necessarily have the luxury of stepping back and thoughtfully pondering what we're doing because we likely to get eaten alive if we do. Or maybe it's more about convenience; that stopping and thinking and contemplating takes time and energy, and maybe in the rush of it all it's just messy and inconvenient to do that. Or maybe we don't really want to understand why we're doing what we've doing. Maybe that will uncover some less than complimentary things about us that we'd prefer not to know. Or maybe we figure that just feeling the need to do something justifies the doing, so we do it. 

 Here are six things that our responses to anger could be saying about us:

Insecurity: Often our responses reflect our deep-seated, gnawing insecurities. In some instances those insecurities result in a response that's wildly disproportionate and entirely over the top. Our insecurities cause us to retaliate in outrageously greater proportions to whatever it was that came at us. In responding like that, we insure that whatever or whoever's attacked us is sufficiently repelled by us, or better yet, they're outright annihilated altogether. Sometimes an excessive response is the way we get the other person to think twice about messing with us again. At other times we don't respond at all, fearing that if we do we're likely to incur further attacks or more abuse. So we run and we hide. Whatever our response, responding out of our insecurities will insure a bad one.

Immaturity: Sometimes are responses are entirely misdirected, mis-allocated and misapplied; in other words it's all reflex and nothing of reflection. We haven't quite learned yet that pulling the trigger prematurely may pull everything right down on our heads. We may not have the maturity to fully understand exactly what happened to us and why it happened to us. We may not have developed the depth of intellect, insight and the balance of maturity in order to render a response that's appropriate to the offense. Or, we may simply take a chainsaw sort of approach thinking that the nature of the response is irrelevant so we just have at it, rather than taking scalpel in hand and doing something a bit more clean and surgical. So, if our response is rather wild and blithering, we might be immature.

Impatience: We do tend to have a prickly kind of impatience where we quickly find ourselves on pins and needle if things don't roll exactly like we want them to. Impatience simply means that we want some sort of result in the 'right now.' Impatience means that we forfeit thinking in favor of doing the deed so that the deed can get done. We forfeit gathering data in favor of dueling it out. We strike out instead of strategize. We cut people to the quick instead of taking time to quietly contemplate. We retaliate instead of reflect, and we burn hot in the flames of revenge rather than cool our heels in the pool of patience. Our impatience drives us to an immediate, reflexive action that will likely serve to enflame a situation that we're attempting to douse. If our response is knee-jerk, we're likely impatient.

Selfishness: Many times our response is deliberately directed to meet our need or serve our agenda. In the fuming mindset of retaliation we take little if any time to consider the collateral damage of our choices. Collateral damage is a concept that's solely related to the impact that our choices have on others. In most cases, we're not all that much concerned with anybody else. Correspondingly, the bigger the offense against us, the more we narrow down our response until the focus of our response is nothing more and nothing less than 'us' based. If we ignorantly act to solely serve our agenda, we're simply slogging around in the egocentric and brackish backwaters of selfishness. Any response that comes out of that kind of cesspool will be vulgarly irresponsible. If our actions are all about self-preservation and they spurn the common good, we're selfish.

Moral shallowness: Most of the time, our responses challenge our ethics and our morals. When we respond to an attack, the most devastating, brutal and agonizing responses are likely unethical. If we really want to ravage someone and leave the landscape of their lives scorched and barren, that action will probably be immoral or so close to immoral that we'd be stupid to engage it. If we really want to wail on somebody and drive them so far into the ground that they'll never crawl out, we'll probably have to stuff our ethics, turn a blind eye, and live with the guilt of it for the rest of our lives. Morality is easily lost in the heat of hatred and the scorch of revenge. If morals aren't guiding our actions, our actions will be misguided.

So, what do our responses to anger say about us? I know which one I tend to use. You know the saying...When you point a finger at someone else, three more fingers point right back at you! (I hate that! ;) Love you, Hon!